How to connect with people when we are genuinely having an agenda in our mind.
As we understand on a daily basis we have thousands of thoughts which run on our mind. The challenge is we are not able to communicate what we feel exactly with the other person because we don't want to come out as somebody who's selfish and who just wants to get things done based on only ones requirements and needs.
Learning people skills, reading books on how to communicate with people, and being genuinely interested with the people, I don't really think is going to help what we are doing if we are really not genuinely interested in the other persons Wellness and in what he /she really wants.
See, the thin line between being brutally selfish and being somebody who is an influencer and who is able to get things done is seeing the other persons wants recognising them at the same time be able to get what we want done, recognising hand in hand without dismissing and at the same time feeling the other person that he is important in the deal. The most important leaders are able to get this done very very successfully.
Someone sees as the most important thing they need and what they want to achieve is not really what they actually wanted. But do you how to communicate to the other person what you want to achieve in a way so that the other person realises that he or she has to help the other person get the things they want in a way which they will be able to operate from the emotional physical and spiritual comfort zone?
A hypothetical depiction of a communication system where most of the people are is just thinking about how to get things done without thinking in terms of his perceptions, bringing his ideas, his views and how he feels life really works in terms of his perspective really.
The biggest challenge lies in this perspective because most humans want to get the things done at the cost of somebody else's and as the day and age progresses, more and more people want to manipulate things to achieve financial profits to make sure that they are successful in whatever they do rather than trying to see how we can strike a Win-Win deal like Stephen coffee states in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Due to all these reasons the biggest challenge happens when people actually fall prey to bad habits such as smoking drinking eating excessively abusing people breaking things and every other depression which you can come across is just a manifestation of not thinking win win or no deal.
Sometimes it is very challenging to even think every situation has to be a win win however there are several circumstances when we can actually get into a no deal. Let's say, you have 100 rupees in your hand that and another person has sugar worth hundred rupees. In case you don't want that sugar, what you would do is you would not give that hundred rupees to him and you would not expect him to give the sugar to you. The conflict arises when you manipulate and you want the other person to give you 100 rupees worth of salt when actually what he has to give his hundred rupees worth of sugar. There are multiple solutions to this problem. For example the person who is actually having hundred rupees sugar can actually have a friend who is actually having a rupees worth of salt and the person who is having hundred rupees worth of salt might be ready to help you in giving you what you want. The person in this deal where who actually wants 100 rupees who is having rupees worth of sugar helps you with another friend who gets a deal of rupees 100 for the salt isn't benefiting and he is just giving and helping you.
This is the problem where people start feeling that they actually give more than what they get, but they do not realise that the law of nature works in such a way that the more you give the more you are eligible to receive and the problem comes when most of the time we are thinking about how we can just get rather than give. Most of the Desire what we have is in fear that we actually lose more than what we actually get and the only reason why we get this feeling is because everybody around us does the same thing.
Idea that this thought that we are actually at the losing end when we help somebody else that we are not able to see that when somebody else goes to the same kind of situation the natural Instinct it actually help you. How the because we have had in a way which is important in other words we have tried to call the hundred rupees in this case without actually providing the value for the hundred rupees most of the deals in our life 100 rupees of sugar is there you have 100 rupees and you are giving it to somebody who doesn't give you what you want or you hundred rupees without actually giving the value for the hundred rupees. There are two ways to go board and fix this issue.
The first thing to realise that this problem potentially can happen and every conversation you strike with for the next 100 days you would need to be mentally aware that there is going to be multiple situations where you might have to say no deal no deal. This is not going to be a very comfortable situation for you to be because all along, you have been used to doing a transaction every single time you speak to somebody. So the thought that you are going to not get into a transaction where you are not going to benefit neither is the other person going to benefit and its just going to get time wasted. You may have to get used to this fact that you are going to say no deal to somebody and in fact of 10 deals there is a good possibility that you can say it's going to be a no deal 10 out of 10 or 20 out of 20 times. However, the relief you get emotionally when you actually state no deal which is not going to be a win win both ways, is enormous.
Second solution for this this is first understand what the other person's ulterior motive is. When you actually realise what the other person really wants out of this deal Get Enough data whether it is something you really want. Many a time we do not know what you want and it is essential for us to clarify what we want asking the other person what he is ready to give and then we understand that thin line between what he is ready to do give whether it is exactly what we want to receive we would need to communicate that very clearly that our expectations are not met we should be very good friends.
Once you realise that you are in getting into many deals which are not effectively getting into Win-Win kind of a situation for both the parties involved you then get the in terms of relationships you realise that there is no domination there is no real force which is exerted in any of these discussions. That might be a possibility that the other person want something much more than what you can give. In this case for example let's say you work for a company clearly states that this this this is what he really wants you to do and you really realise that this is not going to help you get what you want, be challenged to really think what is it that you really want. If you say you don't want something you must be very clear about what you want.
It takes a lot of practice it takes a lot of guts to actually own up and say that I do not want something if you say that I don't want something you would need to redefine it as what is it that you really want. Many a time we hear somebody
Stating I don't want something I don't want something but they have no idea what really they want.
So when somebody says you need to reset goals you need to be clear about what you want it is very important for us to realise that many time we actually wish many things do not happen. The do not happen is a very confusing phrase for our mind for the universe and for the rest of the world because have no idea about what you are talking about they feel offended that you are saying no to them rather than actually realising that you are unclear about what you want.
Hence if you want to conclude this let's agree that it is very important clearly what you want rather than telling people what you don't want if somebody has to actually listen to what you got to say you have to understand what they want. Many a time people themselves have no idea what they want and they enter expressing every single time what they do not want. When this situation arises it is a great idea to dive deep into the conversation and actually question them without challenging their ego. ACTUALLY this ends up getting out of their mouth what they want. Doing this one thing clarifying what you want and clarifying what another person wants, we do not have to manipulate people or use people skills or get used by other people. Remember it's either a Win-win or no deal. If you are not clear about this then ask them what is their win win, ask yourself what is your win win. Strike deals which are only win win and see your self image and self worth grow many times. Grow consciously!
As we understand on a daily basis we have thousands of thoughts which run on our mind. The challenge is we are not able to communicate what we feel exactly with the other person because we don't want to come out as somebody who's selfish and who just wants to get things done based on only ones requirements and needs.
Learning people skills, reading books on how to communicate with people, and being genuinely interested with the people, I don't really think is going to help what we are doing if we are really not genuinely interested in the other persons Wellness and in what he /she really wants.
See, the thin line between being brutally selfish and being somebody who is an influencer and who is able to get things done is seeing the other persons wants recognising them at the same time be able to get what we want done, recognising hand in hand without dismissing and at the same time feeling the other person that he is important in the deal. The most important leaders are able to get this done very very successfully.
Someone sees as the most important thing they need and what they want to achieve is not really what they actually wanted. But do you how to communicate to the other person what you want to achieve in a way so that the other person realises that he or she has to help the other person get the things they want in a way which they will be able to operate from the emotional physical and spiritual comfort zone?
A hypothetical depiction of a communication system where most of the people are is just thinking about how to get things done without thinking in terms of his perceptions, bringing his ideas, his views and how he feels life really works in terms of his perspective really.
The biggest challenge lies in this perspective because most humans want to get the things done at the cost of somebody else's and as the day and age progresses, more and more people want to manipulate things to achieve financial profits to make sure that they are successful in whatever they do rather than trying to see how we can strike a Win-Win deal like Stephen coffee states in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Due to all these reasons the biggest challenge happens when people actually fall prey to bad habits such as smoking drinking eating excessively abusing people breaking things and every other depression which you can come across is just a manifestation of not thinking win win or no deal.
Sometimes it is very challenging to even think every situation has to be a win win however there are several circumstances when we can actually get into a no deal. Let's say, you have 100 rupees in your hand that and another person has sugar worth hundred rupees. In case you don't want that sugar, what you would do is you would not give that hundred rupees to him and you would not expect him to give the sugar to you. The conflict arises when you manipulate and you want the other person to give you 100 rupees worth of salt when actually what he has to give his hundred rupees worth of sugar. There are multiple solutions to this problem. For example the person who is actually having hundred rupees sugar can actually have a friend who is actually having a rupees worth of salt and the person who is having hundred rupees worth of salt might be ready to help you in giving you what you want. The person in this deal where who actually wants 100 rupees who is having rupees worth of sugar helps you with another friend who gets a deal of rupees 100 for the salt isn't benefiting and he is just giving and helping you.
This is the problem where people start feeling that they actually give more than what they get, but they do not realise that the law of nature works in such a way that the more you give the more you are eligible to receive and the problem comes when most of the time we are thinking about how we can just get rather than give. Most of the Desire what we have is in fear that we actually lose more than what we actually get and the only reason why we get this feeling is because everybody around us does the same thing.
Idea that this thought that we are actually at the losing end when we help somebody else that we are not able to see that when somebody else goes to the same kind of situation the natural Instinct it actually help you. How the because we have had in a way which is important in other words we have tried to call the hundred rupees in this case without actually providing the value for the hundred rupees most of the deals in our life 100 rupees of sugar is there you have 100 rupees and you are giving it to somebody who doesn't give you what you want or you hundred rupees without actually giving the value for the hundred rupees. There are two ways to go board and fix this issue.
The first thing to realise that this problem potentially can happen and every conversation you strike with for the next 100 days you would need to be mentally aware that there is going to be multiple situations where you might have to say no deal no deal. This is not going to be a very comfortable situation for you to be because all along, you have been used to doing a transaction every single time you speak to somebody. So the thought that you are going to not get into a transaction where you are not going to benefit neither is the other person going to benefit and its just going to get time wasted. You may have to get used to this fact that you are going to say no deal to somebody and in fact of 10 deals there is a good possibility that you can say it's going to be a no deal 10 out of 10 or 20 out of 20 times. However, the relief you get emotionally when you actually state no deal which is not going to be a win win both ways, is enormous.
Second solution for this this is first understand what the other person's ulterior motive is. When you actually realise what the other person really wants out of this deal Get Enough data whether it is something you really want. Many a time we do not know what you want and it is essential for us to clarify what we want asking the other person what he is ready to give and then we understand that thin line between what he is ready to do give whether it is exactly what we want to receive we would need to communicate that very clearly that our expectations are not met we should be very good friends.
Once you realise that you are in getting into many deals which are not effectively getting into Win-Win kind of a situation for both the parties involved you then get the in terms of relationships you realise that there is no domination there is no real force which is exerted in any of these discussions. That might be a possibility that the other person want something much more than what you can give. In this case for example let's say you work for a company clearly states that this this this is what he really wants you to do and you really realise that this is not going to help you get what you want, be challenged to really think what is it that you really want. If you say you don't want something you must be very clear about what you want.
It takes a lot of practice it takes a lot of guts to actually own up and say that I do not want something if you say that I don't want something you would need to redefine it as what is it that you really want. Many a time we hear somebody
Stating I don't want something I don't want something but they have no idea what really they want.
So when somebody says you need to reset goals you need to be clear about what you want it is very important for us to realise that many time we actually wish many things do not happen. The do not happen is a very confusing phrase for our mind for the universe and for the rest of the world because have no idea about what you are talking about they feel offended that you are saying no to them rather than actually realising that you are unclear about what you want.
Hence if you want to conclude this let's agree that it is very important clearly what you want rather than telling people what you don't want if somebody has to actually listen to what you got to say you have to understand what they want. Many a time people themselves have no idea what they want and they enter expressing every single time what they do not want. When this situation arises it is a great idea to dive deep into the conversation and actually question them without challenging their ego. ACTUALLY this ends up getting out of their mouth what they want. Doing this one thing clarifying what you want and clarifying what another person wants, we do not have to manipulate people or use people skills or get used by other people. Remember it's either a Win-win or no deal. If you are not clear about this then ask them what is their win win, ask yourself what is your win win. Strike deals which are only win win and see your self image and self worth grow many times. Grow consciously!
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